Touch Me (Addison Heimann, 2026)⭐⭐⭐

This extremely odd, occasionally very funny horror/sex comedy begins with Joey (Olivia Taylor Dudley) in her therapist's office, talking about a brief and intense affair she had with this random guy she met at a coffee shop. The tale quickly takes a turn as she reveals that 'Brian' was in fact an alien, on a mission to save the world from climate change. Oh, and his touch brings both indescribable ecstasy and cures Joey's crippling anxiety.

The film just takes this revelation in its stride as we then meet Joey's gay best friend/roommate/benefactor, Craig (Jordan Gavaris). Craig is both a trust fund nepo baby and incredibly bad at managing money, so when a severe plumbing problem means they have to quit their daily non-grind of getting wasted in Craig's house, Joey suggests they both move in with the generous Brian, who lives with his personal assistant, Laura (a brilliant Marlene Forte).

Brian (Lou Taylor Pucci) resembles a sort of hippy Jesus meets tech bro health nut. He wears very stylish tracksuits, appears to eat only ultra-processed chicken nuggets and tater tots, contrasting with the haute cuisine Laura cooks for his guests. He does choreographed workout dances and conducts bizarre therapy sessions involving glowing crystals and being buried in earth. Oh, and he is very open about both his mission and his fondness for cross-species intercourse, during which he transforms to reveal his multi-eyed, multi-tentacled real body.

Jealousy soon takes over the friendship between Joey and Craig, who instantly swoons over Brian. Laura too wants to keep Brian for herself and is prepared to be quite ruthless to do so. Brian, meanwhile, may not be quite what he seems.

There is a lot to like about Touch Me. The practical effects are gnarly, if charmingly low budget, the performances are excellent - in particular, Lou Taylor Pucci is wonderfully odd as Brian and Olivia Taylor Dudley proves herself more than capable of selling Joey's traumatic past and in doing so grounds the wilder elements of the film.

The tone does veer around a bit and the director's penchant for insert graphics like love hearts and floating signs to shown people's inner thoughts may grate after a while. All in all, though, if you are going to watch one horror comedy about a tentacle sex throuple, you could do a lot worse.